WAIT IN LINE

“Excuse me,” Ted said as he squeezed through yet another pair of conjoined twins on his path toward the burly bouncer. It was slightly unnerving how many conjoined twins stood in line for the nightclub.

Unfortunately for him, this pair wasn’t as congenial as the others he passed.

“Hey, we were here first,” the lankier twin spat at him, moving to close the gap between Ted and the next person ahead. His brother nodded in support.

Ted couldn’t risk starting an argument. He was about ten people away from reaching the entrance of the pulsing nightclub. He could clearly spot the velvet rope and the six-foot, hooded bouncer who barely let a single soul into the club.

Ted glanced over the twins’ shoulders. Millions of heads glared back at him. Just twenty-million more heads down was his spot in line.

When Ted first found out that he was dead, his initial thought was: at least this is better than being stuck in that bed.

Ted’s body had been rotting in the same hospital bed for the past month. He had first arrived able-bodied with a mild fever. Now, his human body was trapped in a coma, and his only options were either waiting in the back of a line to what appeared to be a nightclub heaven or waiting in a hospital bed of hell. It was laughable how slim his options were. The first thing Ted was going to do when he got into that nightclub was ask for the manager. He had a few questions, concerns, and complaints about Mr. G-O-D.

Ted  held a finger up to the lanky twin. “Hang on to that thought for just a sec.” Ted didn’t bother waiting for their reply as he quickly slipped around them.

The nightclub’s looming doorway and echoing music welcomed him as he neared the entrance. On his way up, Ted had pondered what this moment would be like and what he would finally say to this emblematic bouncer. But when Ted finally approached, all his words left him.

“Um. Hi,” He finally said. “Can I…go in?”

For a long time, there was silence. Ted was sure he was going to be manhandled back down to the end of the line.

Then, the bouncer finally spoke. “Once you’re in, you ain’t coming back out.”

As Ted stared at the long arched doors and golden lights seeping through the cracks, he felt an incredible warmth. An inviting embrace that whispered Come on in, Ted. You don’t have to wait any longer.

It was both scary and comforting. But Ted was ready.

Then, a sharp pull at his spirit yanked Ted into a white tunnel.

Piercing fluorescent lights invaded his vision, and as he blinked and gathered his surroundings, he could barely discern the face in his peripheral vision. But Ted didn’t need a clear vision to sense he was back to square zero.

“He’s alive!” Someone shouted.

Goddamnit.