March Literary Horoscopes
Words By Alyssa Jordan, Art By Joana Coccarelli
The Ram / Courageous, Adventurous, Independent / Domineering, Selfish, Arrogant
In February, you found the jelly to your peanut butter. The Nutella to your spoon. The sprinkles to your sundae (okay, I’m done). Now, it’s time for a little spring fever, which means you should make a change. Let loose so your adventurous spirit can go wild, and follow that off-road path wherever it takes you.
Before you hit the bricks, check out this monthly story pick.
- What I Know about Space, by Melissa Bowers
- Teaser: “We are warm and comfortable only so long as we circle from a distance, wear dark glasses, stand in the shade, protect bare skin, guard as much of ourselves as we possibly can.”
The Bull / Loyal, Friendly, Resourceful / Self-Indulgent, Possessive, Greedy
While you can handle Debbie Downers like a pro, you should still watch your step around the workplace. Last month may have been dull, but in March, avoid pesky things like coworkers or squabbles or credit-stealing-gremlins. Really, anything related to your coworker—avoid that.
And check out this story pick on your next break. It’s sure to stay with you long after your first read.
- Warm Milk, by Hannah Sutherland
- Teaser: “After a while, we kick through the leaves, walking home, holding hands like we used to do when he loved me, when he loved himself.”
The Twins / Intelligent, Adaptable, Creative / Moody, Opportunistic, Inconsistent
Oh, Gemini. So far, 2021 may have been tedious and boring, but spring will be a pedal-to-the-metal kind of season. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though; you’ll be the recipient of a rare opportunity toward the end of March.
Enjoy this unique story along the way:
- Heated Cocoons, by Susan Triemert
Teaser: “Jordan fell in love with himself every time he stepped into the hot tub. With every inch he further immersed into the water, the more enamored he became.”
The Crab / Honest, Generous, Faithful / Insecure, Needy, Crabby
Guess what, Cancer? A new friendship could be yours! Look for it around the height of the month, when you’ll be your best outgoing-while-virtual-self. But try to keep the neediness to a minimum, at least until the second Zoom call (or the end of the first one).
In the meantime, I have a mesmerizing poem for you.
- A Second Shadow, by Praise Osawaru
- Teaser: “decades pass & you pluck your daughter’s / ears enough to vent: Osarenoma, never forget where you came from.”
The Lion / Cheery, Noble, Imaginative / Demanding, Boastful, Melodramatic
February was all about making choices and testing your cheery nature. Think of March as “opposite day.” So, put on that comfy robe and kick back after work. There may be a personal anvil (or two) around the end of the month, though. Sorry to break it to you!
Enjoy the for-now-calm with your story pick.
- Big Eyes, by Janelle Bassett
- Teaser: “My own jellyfish was still in the sky, flirting with a dragon. They couldn’t stay away from each other, they dared not get too close.”
The Maiden / Practical, Diligent, Kind / Obsessive, Self-Righteous, Compulsive
These last few months have been fun but tiring for you, with all those dates and life changes. Try to kick your feet up in March. Really, take some time for yourself. That could mean online retail therapy, a new home spa, or watching one of a hundred streaming services.
You could also indulge with a lovely story:
- Kumquat Summer, by Brooke Parry Castro
- Teaser: “We spend the summer picking kumquats from neighbors’ trees, all bare feet and little girl giggles and sun-bleached hair. We eat the kumquats peel and all (the sweetest part) and leave no trace except sticky fingers and a neighborhood of bare Nagami trees.”
The Scales / Compassionate, Trustworthy, Peacemaker / Disorganized, Materialistic, Indecisive
Good news, Libra! You should be a magnet for monetary goodness this month. Toward the middle of March, you’ll also find a new friend in your orbit. Enjoy some hot and heavy courting of the platonic-and-remote variety. It sounds like a thrill a minute.
In the meantime, I’m predicting you’ll fall in love with this poem.
- Spell for Evaporation of Hope, with Bibliomancy, by Lesley Wheeler
- Teaser: “Best to admit they never loved you, these strangers / among whom you lived and worked, these dear / damaged machines”
The Scorpion / Purposeful, Charismatic, Cunning / Aggressive, Manipulative, Possessive
Obstacles are stacking like boxes in your professional life. Work off your frustration with some fitness goals and, you guessed it, new workout clothes! That’s right, it’s time to bust out the neon spandex and exercise videos. There might be a few clouds on the horizon, but no need to worry about them. Much.
Anyway! Save this compelling piece for a well-deserved treat.
- The Bear in the Tree, by Rebecca Harrison
- Teaser: “They don’t talk to me, so I sit in the demon tree. The black leaves tickle me and grush to ash on me. Ash goes mothish round me and flies high as the grey tree goes. Higher till it gets lost in the sky. I tilt my head back and watch it. And I feel flying, too.”
The Archer / Straightforward, Optimistic, Adventurous / Careless, Impatient, Hotheaded
March will be quiet as a mouse, which is your kryptonite. Sorry, all you archers—change won’t hit till the early days of April. You probably want to know if that freight train is good or bad news. Because I’m feeling charitable, I can tell you it’s the kind of change that is both good and bad (I’m winking, if you can’t tell).
You can always distract yourself with some good reads!
- The Procedure, by Caitlin Morris
- Teaser: “When I was done, I held my heart in my hand. A little like raw steak. A little like Jello. I put my heart on the tray, just as the doctor had asked. I lay it down gently.”
The Mountain Sea-Goat / Traditional, Responsible, Ambitious / Unforgiving, Blunt, Pessimistic
This month, you might be a smidge disappointed with your family. Try to remember that they’re only human. According to these tea leaves, the other areas in your life will be smooth sailing without a cloud in sight. Some areas may even improve (gasp, I know!)
Your monthly read is the kind of poem that will stick with you.
- Midsummer Nocturne, by Valya Dudycz Lupescu
- Teaser: “My mouth still full of poetry, I fall asleep, / despite my mother’s warnings, / loose-leaf pages for pillows under tangled couplets in my hair, / haiku soft against my cheek, ode between my thighs, / a sonnet in my fist.”
The Water-Bearer / Intellectual, Open-Minded, Outgoing / Unpredictable, Self-Conscious, Chaotic
Don’t worry about any gossip you might hear in social circles. After all, you’re fluent in sarcasm and drink tears for breakfast. Plus, you’ll be rewarded for good behavior around the height of the month. Not only will you have a professional breakthrough, but that recent flirtation just might turn into the best date ever.
On a coffee break, delve into this incredible story.
- Dead and Born and Grown, by Kellie M. Beck
- Teaser: “It blew against the swaying yellow wheat of the field, the cacophony of it sweeping around a thin, pale teenager, and for a moment, it appeared as if he was at the center of the world.”
The Fish / Charitable, Intuitive, Artistic / Timid, Impractical, Indolent
Finally, it’s Pisces season! Feed your artistic side with some fun projects. Revise your schedule to include more you time, purchase some home-spa gifts and pamper yourself. It’s your time to shine, and shine you will, you delightful thing, you.
This story pick is sure to put you in a creative mood.
- Haunting Season, by Cindy Juyoung Ok
- Teaser: “I feel young when I admit to my friends that I have only been hunted once before.”