February Literary Horoscopes
Words By Alyssa Jordan, Art By Joana Coccarelli
The Ram / Courageous, Adventurous, Independent / Domineering, Selfish, Arrogant
It’s official: love is in the air. Now, don’t groan—this isn’t the start of a cheesy movie. It’s the start of your entire month! Secretly, though, you’ll dig it. Embrace the season of love like it’s a swanky new sweater. Shed that cool-kid skin. Be a little vulnerable. C’mon, February only comes around once a year.
But first, read this wonderfully layered story:
- Last Words, by Jayne Martin
- Teaser: “There’s usually two of us, but it’s Christmas Eve and I got nowhere to be. Anyway, she’s just a little bit of a thing, barely 90 pounds from the looks of her. I can roll her onto the gurney.”
The Bull / Loyal, Friendly, Resourceful / Self-Indulgent, Possessive, Greedy
For you, the flavor of February is romance. Buy some extra breath mints, because you’ll either be entertaining a late-winter fling, or whisking your partner away for some hot and heavy dates. We’re talking shower-singing levels of happiness here. Just don’t bust out “Stop! In the Name of Love” until you buy that white-noise machine (trust).
And check out your monthly story pick.
- About Dinner, by Veronica Klash
- Teaser: “If he was on the menu, you’d order him twice, one to eat now and the second to take home to be consumed by the glow of the naked bulb that lights your kitchen.”
The Twins / Intelligent, Adaptable, Creative / Moody, Opportunistic, Inconsistent
You might expect Cupid to look like a ham-fisted baby, but they could be that cute waiter, or someone standing in the next checkout line (hey, it could happen). You never know when you might be peanut butter to another person’s jelly. So check any hermit impulses and put yourself out there. It’ll only hurt a smidge.
Reward yourself with this gorgeous story pick:
- Whale Fall, by Amie Souza Reilly
- Teaser: “Maybe the feeling beneath her skin is from the beer, carbonation rising from the pocket of her stomach, making her feel both full and weightless, the way an astronaut must feel seeing the world small.”
The Crab / Honest, Generous, Faithful / Insecure, Needy, Crabby
Happy Galentine’s Day! This month, you’ll be all about ladies celebrating ladies. Get together with your gal pals and shake it on the dance floor. Or enjoy wine together on a comfy couch. No judgment here—some of us prefer takeout on Christmas, and Galentine’s over Valentine’s. You do you.
Before you crack open that bottle, though, indulge with a poignant read.
- The Dress, by Jennifer Brophy
- Teaser: “As the car pulls up in front of her house, the woman isn’t wondering about first kisses. Or which one of them should make the first move. Because it’s already been made. She wore the black dress.”
The Lion / Cheery, Noble, Imaginative / Demanding, Boastful, Melodramatic
Guess what, Leo? It’s time to bust out those candy hearts and light your pink candles (bonus points if they’re tacky). This month will be all about fun and frivolity, which isn’t that different from your stellar January. Ride this winning streak for all it’s worth, my friend. Bust out those fancy schmancy moves and hit the dance floor.
After you dust off your suit, check out this touching story pick.
- The Pines, by Madeline Gressman
- Teaser: “Both of them had tossed up the idea of moving south, somewhere warm and pleasing to their old bones. But just like Harold, Heidi was more comfortable in the cold. The heat made her nervous and claustrophobic.”
The Maiden / Practical, Diligent, Kind / Obsessive, Self-Righteous, Compulsive
Toward the beginning of the month, you might feel a little blue, but don’t let that melancholy keep you down. If last month was ripe with good times, then February will be more of a contemplative period for you. You might even forget about Valentine’s Day. And that’s fine. This year, you won’t be interested in celebrating with hearts and chocolate. Stay true to the course, my friend.
I have just the story pick for you:
- NPCs, by Edward Ashton
- Teaser: “She holds the bottle out over the alley, then lets it go — and like I have so many times before with Dana, I find myself counting seconds, waiting for the crash.”
The Scales / Compassionate, Trustworthy, Peacemaker / Disorganized, Materialistic, Indecisive
In an ironic twist of fate, your ever-balanced nature will be put to the test. Some of you Libras will even be torn between two love interests. I know, it’s the rom-com moment you didn’t ask for. Valentine’s Day can be spent with McCutie #1, McCutie #2, or McPJs. Confrontation isn’t your style, but you can only pick one of these doors. C’mon, this might be fun—it’s a choose-your-own-adventure story!
Or, you could always pick secret option #4. Put off the decision and read this raw, stunning read instead:
- Spaceman, by Tara Isabel Zambrano
- Teaser: “He plays with my curls. I’ve been in love, he says. It felt like as if I was in a reduced gravity chamber, my insides tumbling. I laugh. Never heard that before. The lightness in my voice surprises me.”
The Scorpion / Purposeful, Charismatic, Cunning / Aggressive, Manipulative, Possessive
Strut your stuff in February and flash your romantic side. You’re an old hand at the game of seduction, but I know your secret—at your core is a soft, gooey center that loves the idea of a soulmate. Instead of ignoring it like usual, maybe try to feed that gremlin this month. It won’t hurt. Much.
Speaking of indulgences, I chose this story just for you.
- Prix Fixe, by Alyson Mosquera Dutemple
- Teaser: “It was May, but the trees outside the restaurant didn’t seem to know it. Their blighted leaves shuddered and fell, lending an autumnal feel to the air even before Mary took me out to dinner and announced that she wanted to leave me.”
The Archer / Straightforward, Optimistic, Adventurous / Careless, Impatient, Hotheaded
When it comes to love, centaurs like to fight fire with fire. Oh, did I say fight? I meant match, of course. They say Sagittarius is best with fellow fire signs, like adventurous Aries or fun-loving Leo. This month, go all out and pursue your romantic interest(s). Knowing you, this whole venture will be last minute and just a tad risky. Be true to yourself, but maybe don’t spring for that escape-room date.
This poetry set can give you a great rush without the claustrophobic, climbing-four-walls-part. Just saying.
- Drought/A Forest in Lungs, by Stipe Odak
- Teaser: “I dreamt that I inhaled pollen / sometime before the beginning of summer / I laid down parallel to the sky / and a forest grew in my lungs.”
The Mountain Sea-Goat / Traditional, Responsible, Ambitious / Unforgiving, Blunt, Pessimistic
February will be a tedious month of boredom for you. Try to ride it out and let your brain hang out in the slow lane (hey, we all need to stop and smell the roses). While you’ll enjoy Valentine’s Day, it’ll still be an unremarkable one for you. Around the 18th, remedy this ennui by communing with nature or jumpstarting a new project. If all fails, try some retail therapy.
And read your story pick, of course.
- Morning Will Come, by Jennifer Kircher Carr
- Teaser: “He sat down cross-legged on one side of the blanket and I across from him, trying to keep the robe covering me. He smiled, a fluttery glimpse in the scruff of his unshaven face, and I thought he was nervous, too. He patted his guitar.”
The Water-Bearer / Intellectual, Open-Minded, Outgoing / Unpredictable, Self-Conscious, Chaotic
It’s all about you! At least until the end of February, when Pisces steals the spotlight. Until then, the stars will align, the odds will be in your favor, all that jazz. You’ll be romance central for most of the month. Whether you fall in love at first sight—what? It could happen—or a recent friendship turns into something more, you’ll be up on cloud nine.
When you come back to Earth, check out this moving, truly sublime read:
- You’re 19, by Ashley Burnett
- Teaser: “You’re 100 now. You have lived hundreds of lives, cried millions of tears, seen billions of stars, and you have realized that everyone on earth is the same, and yet the only people on earth you want to see are your mom, dad, sister, and brother.”
The Fish / Charitable, Intuitive, Artistic / Timid, Impractical, Indolent
Old relationships will show up on your doorstep like a box of ant-eaten chocolate. You might want to give them the finger, but a few could warrant some chalky Valentine hearts and a conversation over “adult” hot chocolate. You’ll be rewarded with a great hair day, not to mention an intense date with your favorite Valentine.
While you’re busting out the paper hearts and streamers, I have a gorgeously penned story waiting in your queue.
- Between The Axis And The Stars, by Chloe N. Clark
- Teaser: “He leaned over me to look closer. The light caught his red hair and I was reminded of copper pennies at the bottom of swimming pools, how they shimmered just so and it made them seem worth so much more than just a penny. I always dove for them.”