The Gods Must Be Sexy

Three Obscure Greek Myths Laid Bare

Greek gods and the mythology surrounding them have been a part of the storytelling lexicon since their creation. They serve as some of the first stories shared in human history and continue to impact human life and culture as we know it today. Some myths have been embedded into public consciousness, such as The Odyssey or King Midas turning everything he touches into gold. While these myths maintain popularity for a reason, others remain known only to those who take the time to study Greek mythology. 

Let’s dive into some of these lesser-known myths and consider how they might be best adapted for a story or serve as inspiration for your next big idea. 

The Phallic Cult of Dionysus

Dionysus, the god of winemaking, festivity, insanity, and theatre—among other things—stars in many famous and important myths. For example, he plays a key role in Ariadne’s story. However, one part of his mythology less discussed is Dionysus’ quest to free his mother, Semele, from the Underworld. 

In order to travel there, Dionysus seeks the help of a shepherd named Prosymnus. As a reward for leading him on the correct path, Prosymnus requests the right to have sexual intercourse with Dionysus. The god agrees to this request, taking an oath to consummate it upon his return from Hades. But on his way back from the Underworld, Dionysus takes a different path and Prosymnus passes away. Still wanting to fulfill his oath, Dionysus goes to Prosymnus’ tomb, carves a piece of fig wood into the shape of the shepherd’s phallus, and simulates sex atop the tomb.

This raunchy tale explains the existence of a fig-wood phallus-shaped object found during the Dionysian Mysteries. It demonstrates the importance of not breaking oaths as well as Dionysus’ contributions to the creation of things often considered taboos. 

Here at Brink, we embrace the taboos and think this little piece of Dionysus’ mythology would make a funny, sexy addition to a longer story. In fact, because Dionysus encapsulates chaos, many of his lesser-known tales provide great fruit for all kinds of stories. A TV show depicting his antics or a comic focused on him would make for riveting storytelling.

Image by pegasuspuzzles from Pixabay

Gender-Bending Justice

Perhaps best known for his role in The Odyssey wherein he guides Odysseus through the Underworld, Tiresias is a blind prophet who plays a role in many popular myths. However, his lesser known past and origins provide fruitful storytelling fodder. 

In his earlier years, before he becomes blind, Tiresias comes across a pair of copulating snakes and hits them with a stick. This displeases Hera, the goddess of marriage, women, and family, and the protector of women during childbirth. Known for being vengeful, Hera punishes Tiresias by transforming him into a woman. Tiresias thus becomes a priestess of Hera. He eventually marries and has children, passing the gift of prophecy onto his daughter Manto. After seven years of living as a woman, Hera finally changes Tiresias back into a man. 

Sometimes, this story is used to explain how Tiresias goes blind. Hera and Zeus argue over who experiences more pleasure during sex, women or men, with Hera arguing that it must be men. They ask Tiresias to answer this question, since he has lived as both, and Tiresias says women do, by far. Hera thus strikes him blind while Zeus gifts him prophecy and longevity.

This myth plays with concepts of gender, vengeance, and duty. While Tiresias appears in plenty of other adaptations—including Sophocles’ plays Oedipus Rex and Antigone—the story of his transformation and adaptation of life as a woman would be particularly fascinating to put to film, novel, or television. 

In fact, the story is reminiscent of the Korean drama Mr. Queen, wherein a man is put in a woman’s body and gets pregnant. This storyline could be viewed as the man’s punishment for misogyny, or it could be taken as an exploration of the fluidity of gender and what it means to give birth. Either way, the concept leads to interesting questions about, and reflections regarding, sex and gender.

Image by JL G from Pixabay

The Calm During the Storm

In The Beautiful and Damned, F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, “Halcyon days like boats drifting along slow-moving rivers; spring evenings full of a plaintive melancholy that made the past beautiful and bitter, bidding them look back and see that the loves of other summers long one were dead with the forgotten waltzes of their years.” 

This phrase, “halcyon days” in today’s context refers to “a happy or successful time in the past.” But its origins come from the Greek myth about Alcyone and Ceyx. 

Alcyone, a Thessalian princess, became the queen of Crete after marrying King Ceyx. She was also said to be the daughter of Aeolus, god of the winds. Alcyone and Ceyx’s marriage was a happy union. In fact, the two loved each other so much they often referred to one another as Zeus and Hera. Unfortunately, this sacreligious affection angered the gods, and so while Ceyx was at sea one day, Zeus killed him with a thunderbolt.

The god of dreams, Morpheus, disguised as Ceyx, visited Alcyone in a dream to tell her of her husband’s fate. In her grief, she threw herself into the sea. Feeling bad, the gods changed both her and Ceyx into “halcyon birds,” also known as common kingfishers, so that they could live the rest of their days together. When Alcyone, as a bird, needed to lay her eggs in the middle of winter, her father Aeolus calmed the winds and stopped the storms so she could land and safely deliver. This act of love led to the phrase “halcyon days,” referring more specifically to a period of days in the winter when the skies are clear and the winds die down. 

A story detailing love, hubris, and regret, Alycone and Ceyx’s myth has great potential to be turned into a larger work. Their devotion to each other, ultimately leading to their downfall, and the love a father has for his daughter has great potential to inspire poetry and song. 

Illustration Credit: ractapopulous

The Realm of the Gods

Now that you’ve discovered three new myths about Greek gods and goddesses, do you feel inspired to write? If you’re looking for even more inspiration, take a peek at the latest issue of F(r)iction, on sale now

The Last Dance

She stands by the bleachers in an auditorium that had been demolished years ago—a vision in a pale blue taffeta dress she’d worn to our high school prom. I stare at her, afraid to blink.

“Am I dead?” I ask.

She laughs, and the sound washes over me. Her cheeks flush as she smiles. “No, you aren’t dead. Just—elsewhere. For a moment.”

Pink balloons scatter across the old wood floor as she steps toward me, the edges of her dress whispering against her bare calves. Freckles dance like stars across her cheekbones and the bridge of her nose. I love her freckles.

“Are you gonna stare at me all night or are you gonna ask me to dance?” she asks.

I hold out my hand and realize I’m seventeen again, wearing the same ill-fitting suit I had mowed thirty-seven lawns to buy. Her hand slides into mine, and I feel my pulse pound everywhere our skin touches.

Heart in my throat, I lead her to the center of a makeshift dance floor blanketed in low draping lights. She raises my arm above her head so she can spin underneath it and winks at me over her shoulder. A smile breaks across my face, one that turns into a laugh when she tries to spin me under her arm.

She always knew how to do that. How to crack me open when I hardened, to bring warmth to my bones when I froze.

My hands shake as I pull her close, as she leans into me. “I Only Have Eyes for You” plays through the hazy speakers. The song she sang in the car, in the shower, in her studio as she painted. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, and she smells like summer flowers and sunshine, like soft rainfall on a Saturday morning, like cold nights curled under warm blankets, like love and laughter and all the dreams of the life we would have together. The life we built.

Tears fall down my face. She kisses them away.

I clutch her dress, blue taffeta wrinkling under desperate fingers, fearing she would disappear into old music and dusty memories.

“Save another dance for me?”

Smiling, she says, “Always.”

But we both knew I couldn’t stay.

I hold her close until the song fades to nothing.

***

I bring her old CD player to the funeral. I play our song.

My smile, sagging behind wrinkles of age and time and wear, wets with tears. But I can still feel the warmth of her palm on my chest, on my heart, as we danced among twinkling lights and pink balloons.

I don’t know where she went when she walked through the auditorium doors. But I knew that I would find her again. Someday.

And I knew that—wherever she was—she was saving me a dance.

Bloodlines

It’s impossible to ignore a red flag when it trickles down your legs. 

I was at a meeting in the office when I sensed the familiar stabs of a thousand tiny knives skewering my cervix. My inner thighs were sticky, and I knew I was living through a menstruating woman’s nightmare: bleeding through clothes and leaving biological imprints on boardroom chairs. The pain escalated, and my breath grew shallow as I felt the shredding of my uterine lining. I desperately tried to concentrate on the document in front of me. The staccato updates faded in the background as I focused on the only available anchor in that spinning room: my panicked inhales and exhales. This will pass, I told myself as I pretended to complete my notes while the executives shuffled out. I needed to deal with the bloody evidence still leaking underneath. 

***

Some people invite you to their childhood homes, show you their memorabilia passed down through several generations, and point to faint pencil etchings on a door frame that mark the history of their growth. I can’t do that.

I grew up in the Middle East, the daughter of a Mediterranean and Eastern European pairing, and later came of age on Turtle Island, where I continue to live. My house contains no bequeathed trinkets or surviving mementoes from the many addresses I had. Instead, I carry the tales and beliefs I’ve collected along the way. They are my cultural inheritance.

***

The week-long hemorrhaging that arrived every month for the last five years, accompanied by dizzy spells, three-inch clots, and crippling abdominal pain, was nothing to worry about, said the family doctor. All women experience this; try stressing less, he suggested. Yoga perhaps, and some meditation? Longer walks will alleviate the pain.

The moon was my confidante, a constant companion on evening strolls. I diligently tracked her phases along with mine and repeatedly promised that by the time she renewed, I would feel restored—effervescent.

Months passed, and the closet and its contents shrank, along with my appetite. Despite a caloric deficit, my arms and hips inflated, and the dresses that fit comfortably weeks ago now suffocated my bloated belly. The mirrors in the house grew distorted, reflecting a shape I did not accept, so I took most of them down. I developed a habit of concealing my midsection with my hands, crossing them in front to cover the visible part of my unexplained pain, absent-mindedly tapping the area with my fingertips, and reassuring myself and the organs within that this, too, shall pass. 

A sign of aging, said my doctor. Women entering their thirties experience reduced metabolic processing and rack up the pounds, paving the way for second chins and a loss of definition. This is life.

***

Where I was raised in the Middle East, the women living on my block regularly gathered in the communal garden, obscured from the roads by thick shrubbery and enclosed by sprawling grapevines. They convened at a large rectangular table, trading recipes, advice, and gossip while jointly prepping dinners before their husbands and children returned home. 

Next to the main table was a small plastic kids’ table. The teen girls were given knives and peelers to help while the younger children ran around playing hide-and-seek, thieving sliced carrots and squinting from snacking on acetic grape leaves. Some evenings, a folding table was pulled out to make room for the husbands to enjoy the freshly ground and brewed coffee along with the rose water-scented desserts that had been made earlier in the day. 

I tailed my mother whenever she joined the group, crawling under the women’s table to draw on the ceramic tiles with my chalk. The oilcloth above my head held the full spectrum of human emotion. Laughter, grief, excitement, worry, and pride poured over chopped parsley, diced tomatoes, and crushed garlic.

I loved the stories the women told as they rolled and stuffed cabbage and grapevine leaves, and stacked them into large pots. My little ears sponged up their facts of life, like the importance of gifting gold to girls and brides—a woman’s financial safety net that’s hidden in plain sight. Through their anecdotes, I understood that love was not blind; it sees the added pounds on a body and it leaves. You can’t get or keep a husband if you can’t keep your figure, chortled the women as they passed fresh figs around.

***

There is no yoga pose for a downward spiral. 

In the wee hours, I was jolted awake by the twisting sensations in my belly and the loss of sensation in my lower extremities. The longer the numbness went on, the harder I meditated and sent prayers to entities I had no business summoning. The movement returned not long after, as I learned in time, but not fast enough to prevent fear and panic from setting in and wreaking havoc on my mind and body. 

Once my composure returned, I’d pull the phone out from the nightstand and send an “I will be late this morning” email, then yank the blood-stained sheets off my bed to soak them and my hands in cold water.

Raw vegetables and most meats stopped adding nutritional value to my body, causing instead severe discomfort to my abdomen as the intestines shifted and contorted to pass what felt like knots down to my colon. But there was no relief. Neither my bowels nor my kidneys seemed to empty.

Advil became my sixth food group, with Costco-sized bottles stacked in the pantry. But what was meant to bring temporary relief brought further deterioration to my digestive tract after years of misuse. When I could no longer identify the source of the bleeding in the mornings, I called my doctor, sobbing. No, I couldn’t wait a few months to see if things improved; I wasn’t sure I could last the week.

***

The women in the garden seldom agreed on any matter, be it the suitability of thyme in a summer salad, the degree so-and-so’s child ought to pursue, the rankings of local vegetable vendors, or the performance of the current Minister of Interior Affairs. On one topic, though, there was no room for debate or alternative opinions: Children are a blessing—more than a blessing even—they are a necessary investment in one’s future. 

They will be the ones to take you in when your knees weaken and your hips pop. They will fill you with their love and later of their little ones, gifting you a third act in life. Your daughters and your sons’ wives will ease your burdens. You’ll be taken care of by a village of your own making.

Of the children who were born and gone in one day, or the troubled ones who inherited prostrating illnesses, or the women whose neurosis and psychosis arrived when they pushed their babies out, they never spoke. Everything in life was a gamble, but choosing to be child-free was the riskiest one of all. It was an absurd notion: what was the legacy of those who leave nothing of themselves behind on this Earth? It reeked of ingratitude and disrespect toward those who fulfilled their natural role and were ready to pass on primeval wisdom.

***

The waiting area in the newly assigned gynecologist’s office was unlike any other I’d encountered. Next to the 3D models of the female reproductive system were jewelry stands with silver bangles and folded textiles, their price tags neatly dangling.

The consultation was brief; no examination or pap smear. She reviewed the data on my period tracking app that went back five years and suggested that I try a gluten/sugar/dairy/alcohol-free diet while ingesting herbal supplements prescribed through her exclusive vendor. Every month, four hundred dollars left my bank account in exchange for bottles of evening primrose, ginger root extract, and Diindolylmethane (DIM)—a supplement claiming to support estrogen regulation. After several months of faithful adherence to the regime, my skin was glowing, and I was half a pound lighter. But the monthly carnage persisted as the heavy bleeding remained unchanged and was accompanied by the piercing cervical pain that preceded the passing of sizable clots.

***

Traditional remedies were exchanged at the garden table to prevent and cure common illnesses. Wild thyme and sage, collected in the fields and dried, were miracle cures for most ailments. Pigeon foot was for men’s health, and raspberry leaves or fenugreek were for women. 

Lingering sickness was a sign of personal weakness, a choice, and its evidence walked around the neighborhood. The man with the brown car got rid of his diabetes by eating salmon and rice for a year. The hapless engineering student lost fifty pounds in her second year of university and promptly received an offer of marriage. The butcher’s father walked home from the hospital after his heart attack and returned to work the next day. The secret of health, so said these supermen and women, was mind over matter. Control your thoughts, and your body will follow and become impervious.

***

Relief came with the onset of the pandemic and remote work. I was no longer worried about excessive bleeding in public or the possibility of fainting on the bus. My coping tools were close at hand: heating pads, the medicine cabinet, and the floor for the days when curling into the fetal position was necessary. The world was fearful, masked, and hidden behind Plexiglas partitions. A time when social distancing meant keeping a moose’s length between each other. As we swapped in-person gatherings for virtual contact and doom-scrolling, I, too, spent evenings snacking on comedy shorts and serving up “stay home” and “clap for healthcare heroes” messages. Between memes and funny dog clips, I happened upon a video by Amy Schumer describing an upcoming surgery to help with an illness. I felt my throat tightening as she listed the symptoms she’d been experiencing. I had to remember to inhale as I heard an itemized checklist of my afflictions. I recognized every single marker described and knew its address in my body.

“Hello, I think I have something called endometriosis. I googled the specialists in town who list that word on their site. Can you please help me get a consultation with one of them? Just send the referral. Please just do it.” 

The voicemail I left my doctor led to a consultation with a new gynecologist four months later. 

***

My all-girls school was across town and a world away from the conversations in the communal garden. An impenetrable, fenced-off fortress with a significant international student body, it prided itself on raising independent, spirited, and remarkable women. The charismatic principal, fully embodying those traits, used to drop in unannounced on our study groups, frequently reminding us that a good education opens many doors for us. “Be the wife of a CEO, be the CEO, or be both of those things at once. All of those choices are valid so long as they are yours,” she’d repeat.

***

The new gynecologist’s office was covered floor to ceiling with photos of him clutching freshly delivered newborns atop thank-you cards flashing words like miracle, dream, and complete. A figure entered, sizing me up yet hardly making eye contact. He gestured towards the examination table as he pointed to my arms, midsection, and the sides of my hips, “This looks like endo.” He left without explanation, returning a few minutes later with a nurse to assist him in collecting a pap smear. As my feet hesitated towards the stirrups, he told me he was also performing a biopsy. “I don’t like to tell people in advance so they don’t worry.”

My white linen dress was already pulled up and crumpled at my waist, and the cold speculum was inserted. I stared at the pictures of ethereal landscapes that were crookedly taped onto the ceiling, like a screensaver meant to distract you from the agony as chunks are carved out of you with no anesthetic. “It’s OK to scream,” said the nurse as I felt the second deeper, harrowing extraction. My eyes welled up, and I audibly cursed, but I had no energy left to scream. I’d spent the last decade muffling the cries of my viscera.

The nurse took me to a smaller room to clean up the aftermath of the unexpected procedure. She offered what she imagined to be a hopeful tidbit: Endometriosis can disappear after childbirth. 

I stumbled out of the clinic in a daze, legs apart, avoiding the trauma site and waddling penguin-like to my car. Holy shit. Was endometriosis my fault? Did I do this to myself? Was it retribution from an unemployed and unfulfilled uterus? 

I slumped over the steering wheel to collect myself and noticed a parking ticket on the windshield—a $90 fine for the nineteen minutes that exceeded the allotted time.  

A polyp was removed during that visit, I learned later.

***

One summer during the school break, while visiting my grandparents in Russia, I joined my grandmother on an outing to the textile market. We took the trolley bus to the central station in town and had to wait for the connecting bus to cover the rest of the way. She went to buy the tickets while I leafed through a magazine. A flash of orange flickered across the glossy pages, and then a dark-skinned hand lifted my elbow and traced an imaginary line all the way down to my palm. The hem of the papaya-hued skirt was threaded with gold and mopped the station’s floors. “You, my girl, will have a life of adventure. Across waters,” said the woman with the black eyes. “You won’t have children. You will be a force, standing before crowds and commanding.” 

A moment later, my grandmother’s arm, recognizable by the constellation of age spots, shot across to slap the woman’s hands away. A crowd looked on as my grandmother charged at the fortune teller in the way that only Eastern European grannies do, purse tucked under the arm, shuffling brown leather shoes beneath, and an index finger en guarde. “Charlatan! I’m not paying you a single penny to lift your curse.” I stood embarrassed, as any eleven-year-old would be, and watched as the woman vanished into thin air.

***

The torment that plagued me for a decade now had a name: endometriosis. Diagnosis spelled relief for my mental health, the equivalent of sitting down for the first time after a long day of standing. I felt validated; my concerns were justified. Now, I needed to know why I had it.

“It may be genetics,” said the doctor. “It could be hormonal; things misfire. Some girls get it from their first period, and others get it later all of a sudden. Sometimes, you’re just dealt a bad card. Accept it.”

I wanted to tell him that I had accepted the prevalence of the regular physical anguish I had experienced for years. But what of the repeated embarrassment I felt when I abruptly left social gatherings as menstrual havoc arrived ahead of schedule, mimicking stomach flu? What about the good men I pushed away to avoid the intense pressure and soreness that accompanied sexual intercourse? Did acceptance mean quietly crying in the shower as fistfuls of golden hair fell towards the drain?

***

“Be nice to the childless woman,” growled my father back home. “She came by to give you and your sister sweets and wish you a happy new year.” 

The childless woman was a relative and the town’s walking Greek tragedy. A known beauty in her youth, she was respectably married but never had any children. Her frown lines told of longing and a lack of belonging. She was one of the rare ones who didn’t have tiny helpers trailing her to the grocers, carrying the bags home. She cooked for two. Her clothes were finer, but you knew she’d happily unravel every last thread to shod a babe of her own. 

She carried candy in her dress pockets and a purse full of medications for her heart, anxiety, sugar, and other ailments. She pulled us aside at social gatherings to ask if our teachers were friendly or the neighborhood kids played nice. Upon hearing of our good grades, she left us cards with money inside. As we devolved into restless teenagers, her questions became intrusive and annoying, and the candy tasted sickeningly sweet. 

Sometimes, her face was puffed, and her eyes were bloodshot. I knew she’d been crying. I didn’t know much else about her. I heard the women at the table talk about her with tenderness and pity. What a shame, such a nice woman, with more education than her frightful husband—a figure so disliked you couldn’t pay anyone to throw a kind word his way. 

A while ago, I learned that she had died not long after her sexagenarian husband left to take a much younger bride. He never had any children; it turned out the problem was him. 

***

When my old family doctor retired, I was automatically enrolled under the care of his replacement. I hoped the young new doctor would help me navigate the complexities of this disease. I wanted to know which organs had endometrial tissue attached to them, habitually ripping healthy cells out and forcing the creation of lesions that never entirely heal. I wanted to see the impact of this whole-body disease on my immune system. But the requests for tests that identify hormone and blood abnormalities were declined. The system, she told me, isn’t designed to indulge everyone’s self-diagnosed niggles.

On the advice of a friend, I approached the doctor from a new angle: I’d like to have a baby before my birthing days are over. It felt surreal to say that, and I was sure she could spot the fiction. My fabricated partner was one of the most despicable characters I’ve conjured up, threatening to walk if procreation was off the table.  

To be heard, it seems, all I had to do was morph into a woman who wanted what they expected me to want. 

The story worked. My performative tears flipped a switch in the doctor, who now adopted a novel, compassionate tone. She blasted the necessary requisition forms for blood work, regular ultrasound appointments, and a fertility assessment. With the prevalence of infertility and frequent miscarriages among endometriosis sufferers (an estimated 10 per cent of all women), difficulty in conceiving was to be expected. But I never went ahead with the examination offered by the fertility clinic; I refused to waste their time and take away valuable slots from truly hopeful women. Besides, I already knew the answer.

***

One building over from ours lived a flight attendant—a stewardess, as was the term then. She was the cool single aunt, gifting her nieces and nephews exotic goods from the magical land of the duty-free. Her bookshelf resembled a souvenir stand: A glass pyramid of Giza here, a paper dragon from Shanghai there, and a snow globe housing a miniature Sydney Opera House just below. The walls were a museum showcasing her adventures. In one frame, she was atop a camel shuffling towards the dunes; in another, she plucked out the Eiffel Tower; and there she was again, squeezing between her fingers the sun over the Pacific Ocean.

I saw her some mornings when I left for school. She’d hail a taxi across the street, hurriedly wheeling her airline-issued carry-on. She proudly wore her spotless uniform, taming frizzy hair into a perfectly knotted chignon. Her signature carmine lipstick was applied with precision. Her confident and carefree mannerisms were striking.

I couldn’t say whether it was envy or admiration that kept her name on the lips of the neighborhood women. The roasting took place as soon as her silver Fiat left the garage. “She has to find someone soon. She’s nearly thirty-four and could end up alone. She needs to put those French cosmetics and short skirts to use,” vocalized the choir of misplaced anxieties. Her recent promotion to the First-Class cabin and her fluency in several languages were of no interest to them.

On my last visit to the neighborhood, I learned that she’d finally married at thirty-nine. Her husband was a divorced pilot with two children. They had none together and lived in an apartment close to the airport. She’d left her job, and no one knew what she was up to anymore.

***

You make all sorts of deals with devils and deities when you’re lying on your side, writhing in pain and growing shallower in breath. See me through this, you say, and I promise never to take a day for granted. 

I heard the ambulance outside but couldn’t tell how long it took since I choked out a “please help” to the 9-1-1 operator. The first responders administered morphine between the questions, conferred, and deemed the urgency warranted. I was wheeled from one bay to another. No, not the kidneys. No, not the appendix. But yes, a few specialists agreed, an “abdominal event” had occurred.

In the early hours of the morning, the attending gynecologist informed me that a large cyst had ruptured on my right ovary, likely twisting it out of place. A sympathetic nurse shared that ruptures like these rival childbirth in pain. I thought of all the evidence I’ve birthed over a decade that went unseen, unexamined, unbelieved. 

***

My grandmother was and remains my biggest champion. Nothing was beyond her granddaughter’s grasp, she boasted to her card-playing chums. When their expected rebuttal brought on questions about my procreation plans, she shrugged them off with a logical argument: who in their right mind trades a respectable position to bring children into a world on fire?

Privately, she’d ask me if our water was safe to drink or if the men we chose were of sound mind, because she couldn’t understand why none of her granddaughters who lived abroad had children. “Is there no part of you that feels sad whenever you spend time with your cousins’ babies?” she once asked. I pointed to the window in the general direction of town. “If I ever want a child, I’ll get one from the orphanage. God knows those kids are the only ones who’ve truly known sorrow. Besides, with the way dating is these days, I’m just one mistake away from parenthood.” She clicked her tongue and swatted my pointing finger away, calling me a pest.

***

I had another ultrasound scheduled after the rupture of a new cyst. My lower belly protruded as I walked into the gynecology clinic, perversely mimicking the carry of an early pregnancy. I called these appointments reverse ultrasounds; I wanted a hollow, clear, and empty womb. 

I grew to despise the sight of the brown foyer, the vinyl-lined staircase, and the clinic’s orchid-colored rooms. I wanted to tell the gynecologist to replace one of his baby accomplishment walls with pictures of women going about their days and profoundly enjoying their lives. Be the mother, don’t be the mother, be a different kind of mother, or don’t be associated with that word at all. I wanted to read thank-you cards from endometriosis patients who were heard, diagnosed, and treated. What were their miracles and dreams? Do they feel complete without the arresting pain, having relegated this whole-body disease to the past?

Or I could offer him my own time capsule as an embellishment to adorn a door or two: here are the parking stubs from all my appointments over these many years trying to prove that I was suffering, bleeding out, and decaying in every way. 

***

Women are taught to hide their naturally occurring biological “shame” and mask their pain; their bodies are understudied, and their ailments are hastily dismissed. This surely has to be some sort of prolonged punishment for Eve’s alleged shoplifting.

***

“You’re forty. You’ve already made your choice. We’re going to operate to decrease the hemorrhaging. But you understand, no children.”

Looking around at the gynecologist’s scrapbookish office decor and the hundreds of pink babies wrapped in newborn hospital blankets, I thought about choice. The choice. My choice. 

I chose to think of myself as an actualized person with no obligation to fulfil a biological imperative. I chose to explore the world, create art, make mistakes, and cram three careers into a decade. I chose to support my family when our circumstances drastically changed in my teen years. I chose to be the primary breadwinner and a parent to my young sister. I only exhaled when she was well-employed and married, and my mother was retired and travelling. I chose to be ambivalent about motherhood because I have raised a family, albeit in reverse. I chose partners for whom fatherhood was not a priority. All these years, I believed I had sovereignty over my body and the right to exercise my reproductive choices. 

But sitting between the posters of the exceedingly cheerful Winnie-the-Pooh and a chart illustrating the stages of embryonic development, I saw that I ceased to have a choice the day I hit puberty. Whether hiding from the male gaze, physically defending myself from unwanted sexual advances, or seeking medical help at the onset of endometriosis, my choices centered on protecting myself and preserving my life from what men wanted me to want. 

I understood that my reproductive choices were significantly reduced once my deteriorating symptoms were declared normal and when my fluctuating BMI was used to dismiss most health concerns. And I understood that my request—to this very man sitting before me—for a more serious surgical intervention, a hysterectomy that would have stopped the progression of the disease, was denied because I might change my mind about childbearing. 

I signed the release forms for the surgery—a hysteroscopic polypectomy and myomectomy, D&C, and endometrial ablation—and left. I wonder if the traffic camera clocked my tears along with my offending speed. 

***

On hot summer days, when I pour olive oil over crushed basil leaves and slices of feta or deseed a pomegranate to sprinkle atop mint rice, I think of the women in the garden and hope the table is still there. Do they tell the story of the family that once lived on the top floor and what became of the two little girls they nurtured, fed, and loved as their own?

I recently found a couple of the women on Facebook. Though I rarely message, I feel profound joy when my feed shows a photo of them smiling, surrounded by the happy faces of the villages they’ve created.

***

Tea biscuits are the only memory I have from the surgery. Once the anesthetic mask was on, time stopped, and then leapt to the moment when I heard a voice asking me to keep breathing. I opened my eyes to a nurse cleaning the blood between my legs and off my thighs with a warm cloth. She offered me biscuits to break the 20-hour fast. I was delirious, weightless, suspended in the air by the lingering sedatives. “WOW! BISCUITS!” I screeched, and laughter echoed from the recovery ward. An hour later, I was sent home with a lacerated uterus, morphine pills, a Naloxone kit, and a bagful of biscuits. 

The bleeding improved after the surgery, but the sharp pains persisted. Each stabbing sensation was a betrayal. The heating pads I stashed in the linen closet resurfaced. The gynecologist prescribed progestin to alleviate the cramps. An MRI later revealed the presence of endometriomas, ovarian cysts that are indicative of an advanced stage of the disease. Their location was already known to me; the throbbing pangs alerted me to their presence. When I thought of the unpredictability of their rupturing, my health anxiety shot up. I began to map the proximity of hospitals to my intended destinations before leaving the house. I increased the number of therapy sessions to stop the paranoia from progressing.  

Once the recovery period was over, I flew to the South of France for a change in scenery and a chance to process the last few years in solitude. On my way to the airport to fly home, the taxi driver and I bantered about my recent excursions, the state of the global economy, his favorite parts of Paris, and the accomplishments of his many children. The subject inevitably changed to my childless existence and the love and joy that was surely missing from my life. Looking at the Virgin Mary statue bolted to his dashboard, I gave up on pleasantries and told him that I never wanted to have any, and should I wish to now, I couldn’t. I’d hoped the silent remainder of the trip meant the intrusion was over. As we arrived at the departures terminal, he unloaded my carry-on and handed over my sun hat, which had freed itself and travelled to the depths of the trunk. “Miracles do happen, madame. Don’t give up.”

February Staff Picks

Lani McHenry

One Day

“It’s one of the great cosmic mysteries. How is it that someone can go from being a total stranger to the most important person in your life?” – One Day, Netflix

There’s a special ache in my chest, an overwhelming cacophony of emotion when I think about the Netflix adaptation of One Daybased on David Nicholls’ beloved novel. When it dropped in February of 2024, it scratched an itch in my soul I didn’t even know existed. I still watch it occasionally to feel something.

The Netflix original series, One Day, follows Emma and Dexter, who forge an unexpected friendship on the night of their graduation from the University of Edinburgh. From that moment on, we witness the messy, beautiful, and unpredictable twists of their lives over the span of twenty years. And trust me—a lot can happen in twenty years. This series isn’t just another romantic drama; it’s a vulnerable exploration of love, friendship, and the bittersweet passage of time. As someone who adores a good Netflix romance, this adaptation stands head and shoulders above the typical syrupy, made-for-streaming love stories. It cuts through the fluff to capture the raw humanity that seeps into our connections—both in the moments we share and the ones we spend apart from those we love. Emma and Dexter are perfectly flawed and effortlessly relatable. If you haven’t yet watched Netflix’s One Day or read Nicholls’ novel, I can’t recommend it enough. Buckle up for an emotional rollercoaster—you’ll laugh, cry, and maybe, just maybe, feel that special ache, too.

Bea Basa

Piranesi

I am well and truly aware I am late to the party. I’ve owned a copy for months, but didn’t get around to it until recently. I can say now that I regret not reading it sooner; Piranesi truly is a marvel of fiction.

This is a book I firmly believe must be discovered on its own, and thus I will explain as little of the plot as possible. Piranesi is written from the titular character’s perspective, a naive but observant man of unclear origins. He resides in a sprawling, otherworldly house that is constantly ravaged by waves. His only companions are another human named “the Other,” and a strange collection of skeletons that he has given different names.

Its unorthodox narration may strike a first-time reader as confusing. Piranesi capitalizes various mundane words for reasons that are unclear, and you’ll be wracking your brain trying to navigate his roundabout descriptions of the setting. There is, at first, little discernable plot beyond Piranesi’s fairly mundane journal entries. But I encourage all readers to continue forth—as the story slowly unravels itself, so too does the character of Piranesi.

Through Piranesi’s weird and wonderful story, Clarke offers a deeply insightful exploration into trauma—one that I did not anticipate, but welcomed with grateful arms. It examines the post-traumatic re-adjustment to life, and seeing beauty in the world despite everything that’s happened. It is strange; it is moving; and Piranesi’s hope is infectious.

Bekah Bahn-Crownover

Her Body and Other Parties: Stories 

The following quotes open Carmen Maria Machado’s collection:

“My body is a haunted house that I am lost in. There are no doors but there are knives and a hundred windows.” This excerpt, taken from Jaqui Germain’s poem “Bipolar is Bored and Renames Itself,” is followed by words from Elisebeth Hewer: “God should have made girls lethal when he made monsters of men.”

These epigraphs will haunt you as you dive into Machado’s unsettling and powerful exploration of women’s bodies and their experiences in her short-story collection, Her Body and Other Parties: Stories. I read this collection for a creative writing workshop last semester, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

Through eight electrifying stories in a gorgeous blend of genre, Machado maps the startling realities of women and the various violences enacted upon their bodies. One of my favorite stories, “The Husband Stitch,” uses familiar fairy tales that are commonly told to young girls, often as warnings, and recontextualizes them to showcase how female bodies are being continually policed. This short story also delves into the experience of a female character—a girl in love turned wife and mother—who gives endlessly in a world that seems to mercilessly take. Another story, titled “Real Women Have Bodies,” makes you question what it means to be a woman, and what it means to be recognized or seen in a world of unachievable expectations.

I laughed. I cried. I raged. It’s a beautiful collection of stories that needed to be told.

Melissa Paulsen

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Before James Cameron commandeered the term “Avatar” with his movies about blue people, the original pop culture term “Avatar” stemmed from the hit Nickelodeon TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender which aired from 2005 to 2008. Created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko, Avatar: The Last Airbender is a story of war, the bonds of friendship, and what it means to find peace in a conflict-filled world.

Protagonist Aang is a young boy and the “Avatar,” a.k.a. the chosen one to master all four elements and bring peace to the war-ravaged world. He’s also the only surviving member of the Air Nomads—monks and nuns killed in a genocide at the hands of the Fire Nation as part of a plot for world domination. This is technically a kid’s show by the way. But that’s where the brilliance of Avatar: The Last Airbender is found. While it would be easy for DiMartino and Konietzko to pull their punches and depict the Fire Nation as a one-dimensional villain, they make the show appealing to all ages through well-developed characters, masterful world building, and a thoughtful portrayal of mature themes like oppression, patriotism, and grief.

While Avatar: The Last Airbender had a chokehold on my childhood (I thought I was a fire bender until I scared myself by accidentally igniting an EXPO marker), its popularity has grown immensely in recent years through its sequel series The Legend of Korra, and the live-action adaptation on Netflix (we’re not talking about the M. Night Shyamalan film). Dark Horse Comics also publishes a series of Avatar and Legend of Korra graphic novels, and there’s a Chronicles of the Avatar series published by Amulet Books where my fellow nerds–ahem–fans of the series can dig deeper into Avatar lore.

Hannah M

The Intouchables

Recently, I watched The Intouchables, a wholesome French film—I’m a sucker for heartfelt cinema like this. It’s a bit like the movie Me Before You, minus the romance and with a much happier ending.

The movie centers around Driss, a young man who feels like a side character in his own life. Unmotivated and dejected, he seeks job rejections to qualify for benefits. During one of these failed interviews, he meets Philipe, a wealthy man who uses a wheelchair. Intrigued by Driss’ indifference, Philipe hires him as his carer, and an unexpected friendship blossoms.

Their relationship evolves from mutual distrust to one of respect; I would even go as far as calling it a brotherhood. Their dynamic was the film’s heart, as they infuse each other’s life with purpose and push themselves out of their comfort zone. It’s a heartwarming reminder that the most unexpected people can enter our lives and make such a remarkable difference.

The humor was perfectly balanced with some heavier themes, with Omar Sy as Driss being the standout performance. Though there is an American remake of this, nothing can capture the humour and spirit of this film (and we all know how American remakes are!)

Dominic Loise

Elsbeth

My wife and I came to Elsbeth in its second season. After enjoying an episode, our evenings were soon filled with cozy crime solving, binge-watching joy to escape the everyday. The show follows attorney Elsbeth Tascioni (Carrie Preston) as she works with the Department of Justice to oversee the New York Police Department’s monitoring of the NYPD after some controversy arrests. But, is that the only reason she’s keeping an eye on the police station? 

If the character name of Elsbeth Tascioni is familiar, it’s because Preston played her in The Good Wife and The Good Fight. Those two previous shows were legal procedurals, but Elsbeth is a twist on the police procedural. Like the classic Columbo, this show is an inverted detective story, where the audience sees the guest of the week committing the murder at the beginning of the show and the remainder of the episode is the “howcatchem.” And just like Peter Falk in Columbo, the fun with Elsbeth is watching Preston know something isn’t quite right, then pick at the loose threads of evidence and slowly unravel the perpetrator. 

Carrie Preston plays Elsbeth as someone who cares, listens, and gives people the benefit of the doubt. Elsbeth learned to trust her gut about people. She likes that this position with the DOJ allows her to do positive work as a lawyer. She uses it to help others she encounters, lift up those around her, and create the best working environment possible at the police station. Even though solving murders doesn’t fall into her job description, it is by observing that Elsbeth notices the little details viewers enjoy until “just one more thing” helps the whole mystery come together to make her case. 

Meet Our Spring 2025 Interns!

If you’ve ever met one of our wonderful F(r)iction staffers, you’ll quickly learn that almost every one of them was once an intern in our Publishing Internship Program.

This program is run by our parent nonprofit organization, Brink Literacy Project. While our publishing internships are a great way to get a crash course in the literary industry, they can often provide a path to what can become a long and rewarding professional relationship. For more information, please visit the internship page on the Brink website.

Bea Basa

they/she

What is your favorite place to read?  

I’ll have to go with the everyman answer: my bedroom. Where, however, depends on the mood. Most of the time, I like to do a little “gargoyle-sit” on my desk chair—knees splayed against my chest and a grotesque hunch that only worsens the further I fall into a book. With nothing but my lamp as lighting, I look ripped straight from a flying buttress. 

In quieter hours I create an impromptu pillow fort. The lamp-lighting remains, though less “Gotham City” this time. I crank up my space heater, curl up all cat-like, and promptly sink into the denizens of sleep. Simple, but so cozy. There is truly no better feeling than relaxing with a book after a long day. 

You’re walking up the side of a mountain along a winding, wooded path. You look to your left and discover, by chance, a door in the side of the mountain. Do you open it, and if so, where does it lead?

I would, because the chance of adventure outweighs the fear of any dangerous beasts lurking within. So, I’d open the door to first reveal an ordinary-looking cavern pass. It winds and bends and tightens up near the end—but eventually, it’d lead to another door. I’d give it a tentative push, and I’d be greeted by a lush spring hidden inside the mountain. It’s illuminated only by slivers of sunlight. Wildflowers spill swathes of colors into the greenery, and a meandering stream nourishes the soil. In the center, a wise old oak surveys its domain from an islet, its roots reaching high and low. I pluck baby’s breath from the ground nearby, and set off to explore…or take a nice, long nap under the oak’s welcoming canopy. 

How do you take your coffee? If you don’t drink coffee, describe your favorite beverage ritual.   

This is nigh-blasphemous as a perpetually tired student, but I’ve never been a huge coffee enjoyer. Just never got the hype. I’ve tried weaning myself into the habit with many an iced mocha—all varying degrees of quality—but I just can’t get behind the bitterness. 

I do adore a soul-warming tea, however, and take it the same way regardless of flavor: with a generous squeeze of honey. If it’s black tea, I don’t skimp on the milk. But in general, I’m partial to jasmine green tea; it’s delicate, floral and utterly perfect when paired with manuka. 

(For any Irish people reading, Barry’s all the way.) 

What is your favorite English word and why? Do you have a favorite word in another language?  

I’m a big fan of Italian loan words adopted for music theory. “Staccato” feels like a pulsing heartbeat, while “adagio” takes its syllables soft and slow; I just love how they roll off the tongue. They’re also great for sprinkling a little musicality into aural descriptions. As for another language, I’ll go with “mo ghrá” (Gaeilge) and “mahal ko” (Tagalog). Both are words meaning “my love’”in the languages I grew up around. The simple, universal affection behind them cements them as favorites for me. 

You’re on a deserted island. You have one album and one book. What are they and why?   

For a book, I would choose Becky Chambers’ A Psalm for the Wild-Built. The book reminds you that you don’t need to have everything figured out—that sometimes, simply living is enough. It’s thought-provoking without the heaviness that pervades most philosophy. I think I’d need that more than anything if I was alone and stranded. 

As for music? Respectfully, the first answer that came to mind was “Oh, god, don’t make me answer this”. I am terribly indecisive about music. My taste is on the heavier side—grungy, (post-)punk, alternative nonsense—but I don’t think it’d ease any of the fears that come with being stranded. So, I’ll turn to a genre I love equally as much: folk. I believe the acoustic guitar has a sort of healing power, and I’d want my castaway soundtrack to be grounding and hopeful. What immediately comes to mind, then, is Big Thief’s Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You. To me, this album is like an eclectic blend of tea: an ensemble of flavor profiles that warm the soul in perfect harmony. Adrianne Lenker is truly spectacular.  

If you could change one thing about the literary industry, what would it be?  

The level of accessibility to individuals from marginalized communities. For an industry dedicated to sharing stories, too many voices are left unheard. 

As part of the Filipino diaspora in Ireland, I grew up surrounded by literature I’ve loved, but never truly felt represented by. Even now, I find there is little effort made in promoting minority authors beyond BookTok romantasy. There is far too much focus on what is “marketable,” and I firmly believe the issue of literary trend-hopping goes hand-in-hand with a lack of diversity. Of course there is the occasional sleeper hit—that is, when a book diverges completely from these trends—but I find those are few and far between. We should not have to adhere to current trends and water down our creative ideas in order to have our voices heard. 

While I do acknowledge that things are far better than they were, there is always work to be done in uplifting these communities. More efforts should be made in allowing them to bring their perspectives to light through story. 

Bekah Bahn-Crownover

she/her

What is your favorite place to read?   

Honestly, anywhere and everywhere! Under the covers late at night, by the windows of my favorite coffee shop, on the couch snuggling with my two cats—you name it. However, one place that recently became one of my favorites is in the car, reading a book out loud to my husband during our commute home from work and school. It’s so fun getting to see his reactions to things!

You’re walking up the side of a mountain along a winding, wooded path. You look to your left and discover, by chance, a door in the side of the mountain. Do you open it, and if so, where does it lead? 

As an inquisitive Ravenclaw, I feel compelled to open the door. But before I do, I check around and do my research to make sure it isn’t a trap. Once I know that it is indeed safe, I open the door and discover the door functions as a changing portal, granting me access to any and every fictional realm I have ever read about. Yay!

How do you take your coffee? If you don’t drink coffee, describe your favorite beverage ritual.   

I love coffee; it is currently getting me through the very last stretch of my master’s program. While I start each morning with a cup (or two or three), one of my favorite things is trying new coffee flavors, especially the fun seasonal drinks at the cute little coffee shop I have here in Tea, SD. I tend to gravitate towards sweet cream cold brews, however, with my current fixation being an Irish cream cold brew.  

What is your favorite English word and why? Do you have a favorite word in another language? 

The first word that comes to mind is “ethereal.” With my background in music, I find myself continually fascinated by how written lines sound when spoken, and how storytelling can serve as its own form of beautiful music. The sound of “ethereal” off the tongue—with dreamy, repeating vowels and soft, whispering consonances—seems to embody its own meaning, creating atmosphere just in its own unique combination of syllables. How cool is that!

You’re on a deserted island. You have one album and one book. What are they and why?   

Wow, I love these questions! While I am currently enamored with Jorge Rivera-Herrans’ EPIC: The Musical, a concept album following the story of The Odyssey, I would have to choose the album Out of the Ashes by the USD Chamber Singers. I know this may sound a bit strange, but just wait—there is indeed a method to my madness. Out of the Ashes is an album that my college choir recorded and dedicated to the resilience and perseverance of music and hope through the tragedies faced during the COVID pandemic. This album not only holds an extremely special place in my heart but also contains a wide range of long and vocally challenging acapella choir songs, each with eight-part harmonies, and some sung in Italian or Latin. Thus, being bored out of my mind on a deserted island, I could bide my time with re-memorizing each of the songs and then learning each of the eight harmony parts. It would keep me entertained for quite a bit.

I follow a similar train of thought for the book I would choose; while not necessarily one of my all-time favorite books, I would bring Moby Dick with me to the island. That book is so rife with cultural and historical allusions, motifs, and philosophical and metaphysical debates that I am sure I could read it quite a few more times and get something different out of it every single read. I would also have plenty of extra time being stranded to track and take note of all the different patterns Melville engages with, such as the recurring Shakespearean tragedy references and the subtle shifts in narrative perspective. I’ve been meaning to find the time for an in depth reread anyway!

If you could change one thing about the literary industry, what would it be?

In addition to the industry’s ongoing struggle with accessibility for underrepresented voices, I’ve been feeling the emphasis on marketability in publishing is starting to stifle original, authentic storytelling. This pressure to cater to what’s popular seems to be leading to formulaic, predictable narratives that miss the emotional depth truly great stories bring, especially in some of the popular genres right now. In chasing trends, we run the risk of losing the raw, unique voices that make literature so meaningful and long-lasting. Wow, I didn’t mean to get so deep, but thanks for asking!

Hannah M

she/her

What is your favorite place to read?   

My armchair, but if I could be anywhere in the world, I’d read at the beach. The last time I went on holiday was in the off-season, and I had the entire beach to myself. It was so refreshing and calming to simply sit there and read, with nothing but the sound of the waves and not a single care in the world.

You’re walking up the side of a mountain along a winding, wooded path. You look to your left and discover, by chance, a door in the side of the mountain. Do you open it, and if so, where does it lead? 

You would not catch me hiking up a mountain! But if I stumbled upon a mysterious door, I’d definitely open it. And I’d love for it to lead to The Night Circus. I would head straight to the wishing tree and explore all the different tents. I’d love to get lost in the magic, and I can’t think of anywhere else I’d want to be!

How do you take your coffee? If you don’t drink coffee, describe your favorite beverage ritual.  

I’m not a huge coffee drinker, so my go-to drink will always be a chocolate milkshake—preferably a Ferrero Rocher one. Topped with whipped cream of course! 

What is your favorite English word and why? Do you have a favorite word in another language?   

My favorite word is midding, an obscure term for the feeling of being near a gathering but not quite in it, like resting your eyes in the back seat of a car listening to friends chatting up front—essentially experiencing the excitement of being present without the weight of needing to participate.

You’re on a deserted island. You have one album and one book. What are they and why?   

This is a tough one! I’d pick The Bee Sting by Paul Murray. It’s so layered, and I think that every time I’d reread it I would find something new, whether that’s some foreshadowing or a deeper understanding of the characters.

As for music, this might be heinous for some, but I’m not a huge music lover! I’ll occasionally listen, but I don’t have strong favorites. That said, the only album that has recently wowed me is Raye’s My 21st Century Blues. It’s so raw and different to anything I’ve recently listened to—she’s so underrated!

If you could change one thing about the literary industry, what would it be?  

Having more entry-level opportunities (which includes internships) outside of central publishing hubs, which for me is London. Having the opportunity to complete work remotely would be life-changing, and can open up the industry to many people who can’t afford to move (which is a major reason I’m so thankful to Brink!). There’s so much untapped talent beyond the major cities, and it’s time the industry reflected that.

Lani McHenry

she/her

What is your favorite place to read?   

I love reading in the hammock on my front porch. I can lose myself in a book while listening to soothing bird songs and basking in the beauty of the magnolia tree growing in my front yard. 

You’re walking up the side of a mountain along a winding, wooded path. You look to your left and discover, by chance, a door in the side of the mountain. Do you open it, and if so, where does it lead?  

I would most definitely walk through it…for the plot, of course! And it’s definitely just another portal to Narnia; maybe it’s my turn to be queen.  

How do you take your coffee? If you don’t drink coffee, describe your favorite beverage ritual.    

I’m not a coffee fan…it’s not my cup of tea. My cup of tea is mint flavored with honey, served hot, of course!   

What is your favorite English word and why? Do you have a favorite word in another language?   

Ambivalence is my favorite word because, as a writer, I find solace in embracing the tension of opposing truths. The world is rarely just black and white—characters and stories, like real life, are complex and multifaceted. I love contradictions; people themselves are full of them, and that paradox is what makes us human. To live fully is to hold space for both certainty and doubt, love and resentment, who we are and who we are not. Once you learn to coexist with contradiction, life becomes richer—and writing becomes a whole lot more fun.   

You’re on a deserted island. You have one album and one book. What are they and why?   

If I could bring one album to a deserted island, it would be Dance Fever by Florence + the Machine, easily my most-played record since its release in 2023. Her music and lyricism are empowering to my femininity. Her songs awaken the untamed, wild woman within me, which I’d love to embrace during my time on a deserted island. For a book, I would choose The Midnight Library by Matt Haig because it gave me a fresh perspective on my life choices. Having this book with me would serve as a source of inspiration and encouragement, reminding me that there are an endless number of possibilities that life still has to offer—especially as I contemplate the choices that led to me being stranded on this island. 

If you could change one thing about the literary industry, what would it be? 

I would love to see the inclusion of more writers from diverse and underrepresented communities in fantasy, sci-fi, and surrealist genres. While there are so many incredible works by LGBTQ+ authors and authors of color that bring much-needed diversity to literature, there’s definitely room for more. Creating space and fostering acceptance for these voices is especially crucial in today’s political landscape. Representation holds immense power, but there’s even more power in ensuring that those stories are read and shared.

Melissa Paulsen

she/her

What is your favorite place to read?   

My favorite place to read is on the living room recliner next to my miniature poodle pal, Delilah.

You’re walking up the side of a mountain along a winding, wooded path. You look to your left and discover, by chance, a door in the side of the mountain. Do you open it, and if so, where does it lead? 

I open the door and find a glowing portal. Inside the portal there are three pathways with each leading to a different pet dragon to adopt. The first is a black and yellow dragon the size of a black bear with bioluminescent scales and a mound of books. The second dragon is red with blue stripes and fits inside my palm. The final dragon is the size of a skyscraper, wears a fedora and a pair of glasses, and has golden scales, violet eyes, and a beard made of clouds. I choose the book dragon to inspire my writing.

How do you take your coffee? If you don’t drink coffee, describe your favorite beverage ritual.  

I take my coffee with vanilla-flavored liquid creamer from Coffee-mate. I also like the vanilla-cinnamon or peppermint mocha flavors. My go-to order from a café is a vanilla latte with oat milk.

What is your favorite English word and why? Do you have a favorite word in another language?   

My favorite English word is pandemonium because it describes chaos and reminds me of silly panda videos. My favorite word in another language is the Spanish word for “poodle” which is “caniche.” 

You’re on a deserted island. You have one album and one book. What are they and why?   

The album I have is U2’s Songs of Innocence and the book I have is An Ember in the Ashes by Sabba Tahir. I chose Songs of Innocence because of its poetic lyrics and different tones of music, such as the song “Sleep Like a Baby Tonight” for relaxing or “Volcano” for when I need a pump-up song. Sabaa Tahir’s Ember in the Ashes is the first book in my favorite series and would not only provide a good source of entertainment but also remind me of humanity’s resilience.

If you could change one thing about the literary industry, what would it be?  

The one thing I would change about the literary industry is to remove the false sense of scarcity that can be associated with it by allowing everyone to share their stories. There would be no more rejections. Instead, every writer would have one-on-one feedback opportunities with an editor to continuously revise and publish their stories as a process rather than an all or nothing approach. 

January Staff Picks

Asmaani Kumar

Light Shop

An intriguing genre-bending Korean drama, Light Shop is the latest TV adaptation by Kang Full, the acclaimed webtoon creator and screenwriter behind Moving. Initially starting in the horror genre, Light Shop slowly transforms into a heartbreaking story of a group of people affected by a tragic bus accident. While the premise centers around a light shop, which appears to stand guard between the dead and the living, it’s a deeper story about the relationships between all the characters who cross paths there. It explores grief, regret, loss, love, and the will to live using the metaphor of a lightbulb. And, it doesn’t come off as preachy. What really stood out to me after watching this show was how many emotions we feel can be portrayed through fantasy worlds and can cut deep when done right. It’s a short series, no longer than eight episodes, but it will leave you thinking about the strange and surreal ways stories about people and their relationships can be crafted.

Kaitlin Lounsberry

The Brutalist

Don’t let the run time sway you, Brady Corbet’s The Brutalist is one of the best movies released from 2024. “Best” is a strong statement, I understand, but I watch a LOT of movies, especially new releases. So, I feel it gives me some degree of authority to make such a sweeping statement given how many days of the year I spend in a dark movie theater.

Shot on VistaVision, a near defunct way of shooting movies that was notably used to film classics like Vertigo and To Catch a Thief, the film follows the life of László Toth (Adrien Brody), a visionary architect from Eastern Europe, as he immigrants to the United States following WWII. After he settles, his architecture career takes off in the states after he meets Harrison Lee Van Buren (Guy Pearce). Through sweeping shots and breathtaking examples of filmmaking, we watch the trials and many, many tribulations Toth faces as he attempts to bring his talents to life. The Brutalist is a tale of the immigrant experience, a tale of heartbreak, a tale of love despite the odds, and a tale of artistry and the madness and sacrifices that often come along with it.

Dominic Loise

West Hollywood Monster Squad

Marvin, the main character in West Hollywood Monster Squad, is a young adult who’s found himself and his people but not his community. As such, Marvin is clingy to his small clique from high school. He circles the wagons on his small circle of friends during a night out and feels threatened they’ve gone to college and met new people. Marvin’s “green-eyed monster” creates just as much drama as the monster apocalypse they’re trying to survive during a night.

As the diverse group of characters venture out of the drag club, Marvin faces how much he is stuck in the past emotionally. As his personal issues threaten the survival of the group, he is given the reading he needs by his favorite drag queen and learns he has to move forward, emotionally and physically. Marvin finally sees the difference between putting in the time and being ready when the opportunity comes allowing him and the others to save the West Hollywood community.

Sina Grace brings an honest and emotional voice to each of the different characters in West Hollywood Monster Squad, and Bradley Clayton’s inviting art style helps insure the character’s stories are not lost amongst the monsters. The two have created a work for readers whose horror tastes may be more Dragula than American Horror Story with monsters being that of after-school television animation and humor.

An Interview with Lucy Sullivan

In Barking, you use handwritten text that sprawls out from the text into the panels, blurring the line between narrative and reality. What was your process forming the visual features of the novel?

First, I plotted the full story before drawing, akin to a film script. Then, I broke the story into chapters; this allowed space for a set-up, points I wanted to make about mental health crisis care, and a crucial change in the closing chapter. I had previously spent a significant amount of time developing the visual style of Barking while I researched the themes with a development sketchbook. The difficulty with creating graphic narratives is allowing time to draw everything you write. It’s a long, laborious process, so it’s wise to make sure you can complete it.

To depict the experience of a mental health crisis, the art had to have a sense of urgency. So, the reader could feel the grip of psychosis, layouts flowed with the protagonist’s state of mind, and the lettering overwhelmed and contrasted reality.

It took time to find the layouts and narrative devices. I realized the art needed to not be overly planned, so I wrote loose dialogue and action in scenes, sketching freely until a chapter started to form. It was a very experimental approach to making a graphic novel, and perhaps one I wouldn’t repeat, but it was the only way to make Barking. Telling stories from such a personal place felt, at times, like an exorcism. I banished the demons of my past onto the page in carbon and hopefully I’ve trapped them there. It was a difficult book to create, but it’s reception by readers has been incredibly cathartic.

Your story features significant themes of grief and depression. If you could change anything about the way these issues are represented in media, what would you like most to see? And how did you channel these thoughts during the writing of Barking?

I had specific hangups about the depiction of both. Part of what caused me to end up in such a bad place, was how narrow our understanding is. Grief is always linked to loss; it’s seen as devastating at first, but something that society expects you to get over very quickly.

It can also manifest in various guises. I was sad, but I was also furious at the world. My loss made me aggressive and unsympathetic to the point that people couldn’t see that what I was struggling with was destroying me. Feminine rage is an uncomfortable image, so I was keen to bring that to the forefront in Barking.

If you picture someone as depressed it will be a slumped over figure, locking themselves away. I was the opposite. I had three jobs, a busy social life, and on the surface, seemed to be coping, but I was also drinking heavily and getting into dangerous situations.

Apparently, anger is viewed as a more masculine response, so I wanted Barking to challenge how we think people behave when they crumble; how their ethnicity and gender affects that, as does the sympathetic nature of their behavior. Difficult people are not easy to help, but they probably need it more.

Alix’s inner world takes center stage throughout the text, and at times it is difficult to know what is real or unreal within her world. How did you strike a balance between depicting the all-consuming manifestations of Alix’s mind with the wider story?

It was important for me that readers felt as disorientated as Alix does in her crisis. However, I wanted to make sure I didn’t lose them entirely. I chose to keep realistic time frames by adding time stamps and dates to each chapter. The story is set 18 months after the death of Alix’s friend to address that aspect of grieving. I used research, and anecdotes from friends, to get accurate timings for the sectioning process at NHS hospitals.

I know some readers have struggled to keep pace with the book. It’s a challenging read both in content and visuals. I thought I might only get one chance to make a book like this, so I decided not to compromise my vision. I’m glad, as many have embraced its chaotic nature and found it an emotional read.

Though the story features elements of realism and psychological drama it also incorporates aspects of horror. Were you inspired by any horror projects or concepts in crafting the hound voice that stalks Alix?

When you start developing stories, you realize how much of your world view is based in folklore and film tropes, at least it is in my case. I knew early on that I would depict the depression as the “Black Dog” symbol.

I was discussing the links to Black Dogs and doom with my partner when he mentioned Old Shuck. It’s Yorkshire lore about a beast that roams the moors. It originates down south in Suffolk and is known as Black Shuck. It’s the inspiration for The Hounds of The Baskervilles and reminded me of other tales with black dogs that signaled death.

I was profoundly affected by An American Werewolf in London as a child. I saw it way too young, after the death of my best friend when I was 6 years old. The sections where the protagonist talks to his dead friend were incredibly soothing to my mind. I realize now that I created my own lore around death based on that experience. It’s hugely influential in Barking.

You’ve stated that Barking was inspired by your own mental-health experiences; do you have any advice on how to approach incorporating real-world experiences into artistic expression?

This is such an individual path to tread. Originally, I was going to create a story with myself as the protagonist, but I found I depicted myself in a much more positive light than in reality. It was incredibly difficult to draw myself, acting as I did, going though the worst memories I had, and be brutally honest. So, I started sketching character ideas and found it much easier to be open about my experience through Alix Otto.

Sometimes, I think you can get a message through better with fiction than reality. Add a dash of horror, ghostly tropes, or a phantasmagorical beast, and readers might be more inclined to take it on board. It also allowed me to incorporate not just my experiences, but the experiences of friends and the wider mental health system.

It’s not only yourself in these stories. If you decide to take the more realistic approach, make sure you speak to anyone living that may be included and consider the social and emotional repercussions. My own family have found it very difficult to read Barking. Many people didn’t realize what I was going through, and I found it impossible to tell them. But through Alix, they can now see, and it’s there if they want to know more.

Barking was your debut piece, but you have new projects upcoming that also center around difficult issues in modern culture. What is your next work about?

My next project, Shelter, is a folk-horror series set in late 60s/early 70s West London. It’s inspired by my dad’s childhood amongst the Irish community, my own childhood growing up in a live-music pub, and our eclectic regulars alongside my love of Celtic folklore. I wanted to create a story that focuses on the women of a community and how immigrant groups form networks to protect themselves in hostile environments.

Lastly, do you have any advice you’d like to share for aspiring writers hoping to break into the publishing industry?

I certainly do! Firstly, whatever idea you have just get making it. Make the book you want to make, not what you think readers want—they will find you. Chat to other authors, chat to publishers and bookstores but don’t just pitch your idea at people, be interested in what they do. Be active in your part of the industry: join local groups, support other creators, form a work-in-progress group to support each other. Creating books can be really isolating so find your people and grow your community.

If, and when, publishers or agents show interest don’t just sign that contract! Join a union such as Society of Authors who will vet contracts. You can always negotiate with decent publishers, so hold onto copyright, creative control, adaption rights and moral rights as much as possible. Talk to other authors represented by them who are willing to share their experience.

Finally, don’t lose heart if success doesn’t happen quickly. Publishing is a long game, so stick with it and your time will come. It’s a competitive industry and those at the top are a minority so do it for the love of doing it and just enjoy it. Everything else is a bonus on being able to do something as cool as making stories. Best of luck!

An Interview with Jason Loo

You’re currently working on Hulk Not Smash: Practice Mindfulness the Mighty Marvel Way. Can you tell us more about this project and how it came about?

Hulk Not Smash was put together by our extraordinary writer Amy Ratcliffe and the good folks at Chronicle Books. When they came to Marvel to look for an illustrator, I think it was my work on Marvel Meow and Lucky the Pizza Dog that got me the gig. This book teaches people about self-care and mindfulness through examples of Marvel’s fan-favorite characters, with exercises to practice ourselves. Readers will learn to not judge a book by its cover and keep an open mind like Beast, learn to face your fears with Daredevil, be in the present with Kitty Pryde, and so much more!

How would you say the concept of mindfulness fits into comics core values, especially when some readers pick up monthly issues to see fight scenes and punches on panels?

I think readers really need to read the story around the fight scenes. What I love about every Marvel character is they each have their own flaws and struggles that can resonate with a lot of fans. It’s not about punching harder to win a fight. Fights can be a metaphor for a relatable obstacle, and it takes a lot of thinking that gets them to overcome these challenges. 

You’ve recently written Sentry, who is a Marvel superhero connected with mental-health storytelling. Also referred to as the Golden Guardian, Sentry has had calming impact on The Hulk while also being a threat to other Marvel heroes. Where was the character at when you wrote SENTRY: LEGACY?

Robert Reynolds is still dead after the events of King in Black. I got to introduce brand new characters to carry the mantle of the Sentry. And while each one of them had their own everyday challenges, it was the main lead, Mallory Gibbs, who shared a close parallel to Robert Reynolds with her disability, cerebral palsy. Imagine having the ultimate powers of one million exploding suns but not be able to have 100% control of your body due to tremors. She deals with the self-doubt of not feeling worthy to have such powers, but later realizes, she needs the same perseverance as she did living with CP.

In the past, Robert Reynolds’ mental-health struggles were projected outward. Can you talk about the relationship between Sentry and the Void and how that relates to the concept of shadow self?

I barely touched on the Void in my series as its concept was a huge can of worms for a four-issue mini-series, especially when I was busy trying to flesh out the new characters. But Mallory Gibbs spends a good half of the series with her own internal struggles after a big accident when her powers unexpectedly ignited. She slowly comes out of her cocoon by practicing her powers bit by bit to good use. It’s the accidents that bring her back down in a rut. But she realizes that she has the power to help and it’s better to try than to do nothing at all.

Could you talk about how the characters in SENTRY: LEGACY explore the division in fandom mindsets regarding diversity and inclusion with mainstay characters?

I wanted to show representation for the minority in fandom who rarely see themselves in comics as the hero. Right away, I knew this initial idea would trigger backlash from some fans that want their traditional superhero to return, which was never the initial mandate for my series. I’ve seen it in the past on Twitter with other POC characters becoming successors to the classic superheroes. But Robert was at least honored through his milestone memories from his Marvel history in SENTRY: LEGACY. What made the series worth it for me was the positive feedback from fans that related to Mallory Gibbs’ disability. Editorial and I did the work and collaborated with our creative consultant Cara Liebowitz, a disability advocate, to make sure a character with CP is handled authentically throughout this series. I hope we get to see more of Mallary, a.k.a.: Solarus, in the future.

In the end, SENTRY: LEGACY is about giving yourself grace and time as you level up. Can you talk about a time when you learned that lesson in your career?

I think that was back when I finished my own self-publishing series, The Pitiful Human-Lizards. I was doing all the roles in that series for five years: writing, penciling, inking, coloring, lettering, etc. As I wrapped it up, I thought I told everything I wanted in a superhero comic. I was also burnt out and going through legal issues with a former publisher that made me want to quit comics entirely. But then my good friend Chip Zdarsky reached out to me out of the blue and wanted to collaborate on a project together. It became my second wind in the industry, and I wanted to give more than I previously did, knowing more eyes would be on this book. And that caliber of work won us an Eisner Award and brought me so much attention from other editors, and that’s when my career began to sky-rocket.

What other projects do you have coming out?

I’m currently writing the ongoing series Werewolf by Night: Red Band with artist Sergio Davila, and I wrapped up on writing for the Dazzler limited series which ends in December. There’s a bunch more that I can’t say at the moment.

If we could focus on Dazzler for a moment, antimutant sentiments are currently at an all-time high in the Marvel Universe with the fall of the mutant nation, Krakoa. What pressures are on Dazzler?

With Dazzler’s new level of success from topping the charts and selling out arenas, she’s trying to please all her fans, both mutants and humans. But when she knows her fellow mutants are being threatened and discriminated against in the world, she decides to take a stand. And that might not please the other half of her fans. So, Dazzler and her team are navigating through these pressures during the tour while villains and even a talk-show host try to villainize her for being a mutant.

How does the character’s music showcase her personal journey and what artistic roadblocks does Dazzler face?

Her songs are Dazzler’s narratives. They are another level of storytelling. I’ve fit in history about her past relationships in them and her own struggles when she was outed as a mutant by her music producers. I don’t think Dazzler has any artistic roadblocks at this point. Her album is fully produced and out in the world for everyone to hear. Some people may have their own interpretations of her songs (read issue 2), but she makes it clear what her stance is on stage. She’s a mutant, out and proud.

Antimutant sentiment comes from a place of fear that mutants are the next stage of evolution. Can you tell us how physical and verbal threats against Dazzler help her to evolve?

She looks to her PR/lifestyle manager, Wind Dancer, to navigate the dangerous tides, but for the most part, follows her own heart to do what’s right.

Where can our readers find you online?

People can find me on Instagram @jasonloomakescomics.

Written In Dreams: Volume II

Dreams! We all have them. And we’ve all seen our dreams change throughout our lives. A childhood dream of being a rodeo cowboy might evolve to obtaining a computer science degree… Or even the other way around… Whether you’ve dreamed of jetting off to the stars or creating vast worlds that transport eager readers, these potent aspirations motivate and drive us.

That’s especially true here at the Brink Literacy Project, where we utilize the power of storytelling to affect the lives of people on the brink—anyone who is marginalized in society or otherwise lacks access to traditional means of learning about and employing the art of storytelling. We want to make dreams come true for our students, everyday.

But… what about our staff members? What have they dreamed about as wee storytellers?

Alexander Lumans

As a young writer, what did you dream your future in publishing would be?
In my earliest writer days, including my college and MFA years, I’m pretty sure I dreamed about auditorium classes full of overly studious English majors, all discussing their analyses of a book I wrote. As a student, I actually loved doing this, especially when I got to talk about a book I was particularly obsessed with. It now feels a little weird realizing part of my publishing dream involved school and research essays, but school was all I really understood back then.

How did you think you would obtain that dream?
Thankfully, I learned pretty quickly how much you need to give yourself over to your obsessions. The kinds of bizarro obsessions I didn’t really understand: collecting bottle caps, taxidermy, cool graveyards. And I decided to trust them to light my way deeper and deeper into the unknown.

Has the dream changed or shifted? And if so, how?
I think (hope) it’s changed! Of course, I’d still love to publish a book that college students have to pull support quotes from while resenting their professor. But the dream also feels so grounded in the hopes of writing a book that only I could’ve written. A book that exists only because I exist.

How does actually being a writer compare to what you dreamt it would be like?
It’s so much more difficult than I first dreamt of. Mostly because so much of the world doesn’t want you to write at all. It wants you to waste time buying things on Amazon. It wants you to watch Monday night football. And it wants you to ignore art. I try to remind myself that anyone who writes is creating against the grain, which makes the writing feel even more worthwhile.

If you could meet any other writer, living or dead, in your dreams who would you meet with, and why?
Barry Lopez, who unfortunately died only a few years ago. His incredible nonfiction book Arctic Dreams changed my very DNA. Not just as a writer but as a person who must engage with the environment with conscious decisions. In my dream, I figure he and I would go wandering together around the North Pole and talk to polar bears.

Eileen Silverthorn

As a young writer, what did you dream your future in publishing would be?

When I started college as an English major with a concentration in Creative Writing, I thought for sure I would be an author or an agent. All about that first part of the publishing process: the creation and the advocacy.

How did you think you would obtain that dream?

When I looked around at my fellow writers, it seemed that you had to either be writing or reading when you weren’t workshopping or submitting. I thought if I did it enough, I would eventually get there. I didn’t think luck or timing had anything to do with it!

Has the dream changed or shifted? And if so, how?

This dream has done a complete 180! Well, maybe not completely. Editing and writing are both different and adjacent for me in in terms of fulfilling my creative dreams. The idea of being an editor felt like it would have too many rules, too much technical focus. If anything, though, guiding authors through the editing process it has allowed me to become a better writer AND better reader, grasping the nuance of both.

How does actually being a writer compare to what you dreamt it would be like?

Being a writer has been WORK. I knew that being an AUTHOR would require a lot of dedication and hustle, but there was this fantasy that once you “figured it out” then you could lean back and just write. If only it was that easy. Writing is fun and fulfilling, but also an unending journey of development. And like most things, requires constant practice.

If you could meet any other writer, living or dead, in your dreams who would you meet with, and why?

I would love to meet Oscar Wilde in my dreams. Not only would it be a good time (he would be GRAND at a party, I mean, c’mon), but so much of his writing has seemed effortless to me. Inherently curious, creative, descriptive, but like he doesn’t take himself or his craft too seriously all the time. His writing and stories are not everybody’s cup of tea, but they don’t need to be to have value. This perspective is harder to understand and maintain than you’d think, especially in this industry and in our broader, content-consuming culture.

Ari Iscariot

As a young writer, what did you dream your future in publishing would be?

I don’t think my conceptualization of being published was very concrete when I was a teen. There was just a desire to have my writing, my “dream” novel, out in the world and being read and loved. I was also very involved in editing and beta-reading for fandom works as a teenager and that inspired my love for helping people develop their stories. I hoped I could continue that beyond the realm of fandom, in a professional capacity.

How did you think you would obtain that dream?

College, internship, and then plenty of hard work. The ush.

Has the dream changed or shifted? And if so, how?

My desire to edit hasn’t changed, and I’d love to have my own business some day with clients who are drawn to my personal style and approach. I don’t, however, want to publish traditionally in the way I used to. My desire now is to learn enough HTML, CSS, and Javascript to create a website to publish my stories and make them interactive. I want complete creative control over the art, soundscapes, music, etc., in my stories, and traditional publishing wouldn’t allow that.

How does actually being a writer compare to what you dreamt it would be like?

I don’t think I ever had a stage of dreaming of being a writer. I am a writer. It’s what I’ve always done. You could as soon ask me to stop breathing as to stop writing. I’d be lost without it.

If you could meet any other writer, living or dead, in your dreams who would you meet with, and why?

I did an interview on our F(r)iction site not too long ago with Phoenix Mendoza, and she would absolutely be my pick. She’s been my inspiration for years; her writing influenced my style more than any other writer I’ve read. Who knows, if she’s down, maybe some day I can travel across the states and make it a dream come true!

December Staff Picks

Dominic Loise

Alan Scott: The Green Lantern

Alan Scott was the first Green Lantern created in 1940 by Mort Nodell and Bill Finger. Like today’s characters, he used willpower to create emerald shaped images with a power ring. Being a kid/adult with anxiety, I was attracted to the concept of willpower and focusing your energy on a task. I even bought a Green Lantern-like ring to wear and would be questioned about being a man wearing jewelry. 

Recently, Alan Scott came out as one of DC Comics’ queer characters. The Green Lantern title has always been on the forefront of dealing with social issues. The classic Green Lantern/Green Arrow run of the early 70s showed heroes addressing social issues of the time. In the 90s, the series had a storyline dealing with violence against the queer community. But Tim Sheridan’s Alan Scott: The Green Lantern tells the stories never told out.

Told in flashbacks, Sheridan uses settings and characters of Alan Scott’s classic comics to explore the characters who masked their true identity and weren’t in the Justice Society of America WW2 era. Arkham Asylum is the location for the trauma conversation therapy, and the men hiding in the dark alleyways are not there for robberies but connection.

Alan Scott also finds those who support him throughout this series, which are all told via heartfelt moments. Alan Scott: The Green Lantern lets a classic character’s true self step into the spotlight and out of the shadows on his own timeline. 

Simon Kerr

To Be Taught, If Fortunate

Winter! It’s cold. And we all know what else is cold: the vacuum of space! As holiday times approach, I continue to think of nothing but hope-punk space novellas, a.k.a. the Becky Chambers Special.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate follows four astronauts who study exoplanets. Each planet has unique biomes, flora, and fauna, some unbelieveably beautiful and some chilling in darker ways. Come for the casual queer representation and stay for the exquisite scenery.

Eileen Silverthorn

Christmas Horror

Don’t get me wrong, I love some Hallmark holiday cheese and classic Christmas stories. But my love for the horror film genre—even the ridiculous, campy ones—is a year-round thing. Therefore, I have been binging everything from KrampusGremlinsBlack Christmas (the original and the remake, I don’t discriminate), and the new Terrifier 3. There are more, too many to even name here, but I am considering making this festive and spooky movie marathon an annual tradition in my family. If you want to bring this seasonal chaos to your watchlist as well, here are some ideas to get you started.

Drinking the Magnolia Moon

After Wenyi Zhu’s “Magnolia Moon”

It was I, Daughter of the Stars,

who plucked the milk moon from the earl gray sky,

brewed a new cup with her magnolia petals,

stirred to life with my spines.

Her steam is sweet to breathe,

Sakura spirits caressing the blue craters of my eyes,

blushing my pale sick skin.

Sweeter to sip,

as she weeps bright tears upon my lips,

soft spins silk upon my tongue.

She makes me smile,

wraps me in the warmth of her halo,

fills my belly with the promise of life.

You’ll never know coldness,

or darkness,

or starvation

again.

My child,

you’ll never know.

I smile,

and I smile,

And the moon bleeds black

and smiles back

as the world fades to purple dust.

Still

Eli has officially been declared a missing person. I trudged through the snow, my boots leaving deep impressions, while I watched my breath escape in shivers. We had one flashlight and six people’s worth of determination to find Eli.

Max was ahead of me, shouting into the void: “Eli! Come on Eli! I know you can hear me, dammit!”

I jogged to catch up, my breath shallow in the cold.

“Max, we have been searching for hours.” I said, through choked back tears.

“He’s fine, Kit. We are going to find the idiot. Okay?”

“Okay,” I sniffed back.

I could feel something was wrong. It felt like the tether tying us together had snapped and Eli suddenly went loose.

We would always go for walks along the river together. Giggling, cracking jokes, howling up at the sky like the goons we were.

I took a turn through the woods and headed down the hill towards the riverbank. I kept walking, mindlessly, not really sure what I was even looking for. A body?

I was looking for a body.

The police found Eli’s car at the trailhead. His phone, keys, and wallet sitting in the front seat.

I continued walking along the rushing water of the partially frozen river, rubbing my hands together from the biting cold. I had been out here for hours, looking, longing, hoping.

As I continued down the riverbank, I stumbled into a clearing. There was a perfect opening lit by the moon; a tree poised so it hung gently over the water.

And there he was.

I dropped to my knees and screamed up at the sky. The kind of scream that stained memories, burned lungs, and caused aches in your bones.

Max and the others came running from behind and took in the scene. Max dropped down and wrapped his arms around me. We huddled there together in the snow—the moon the only reminder the Earth was still standing.