August Literary Horoscopes
Words By Alyssa Jordan, Art By Joana Coccarelli
The Ram / Courageous, Adventurous, Independent / Domineering, Selfish, Arrogant
Last month was all about adventure and change. This month is the not-so-fun flip side of that coin, so set aside some time to rest and recharge before you’re dropped into a sea of conflict. Sorry to break it to you!
When you do take a breather, recover with this story pick:
- Peach Pit Mother, by Harrison Geosits: Beautifully written with a painfully perfect ending, this one is sure to stick with you.
The Bull / Loyal, Friendly, Resourceful / Self-Indulgent, Possessive, Greedy
You’re going to have to work it this month—pedal to the metal, baby—but you can hit the brakes after the 15th. Cool off with this well-deserved story pick, and remember to treat yourself to a little something extra.
- The Peaceable Night, by Jennifer Zeynab Joukhadar: This is another gorgeously penned story that will make you feel like you’re eating dessert. Don’t believe me? Here’s one example among many: “Suhaila brushed salt from her ankles. The beach was filled with bodies, the sand shivering like glass.”
The Twins / Intelligent, Adaptable, Creative / Moody, Opportunistic, Inconsistent
Whew, glad to see you made it through July! Emerge from your pseudo-survival bunker and enjoy some late summer days. Maybe even go a little crazy and head to the beach with this absolute gem of a read:
- The Crayfish Seller, by Richard Berry: Nostalgic, wistful, and bittersweet, the story packs quite a punch in just one hundred words.
The Crab / Honest, Generous, Faithful / Insecure, Needy, Crabby
Leo might have stolen the spotlight, but good news: it’s all downhill from here! (I think I might have misread these tea leaves again, whoops.) Anyway, avoid heart-to-hearts this month and try to focus on work.
In the meantime, here’s a dark fantasy that’s sure to pique your interest:
- A Cup of Salt Tears, by Isabel Yap: A study in grief, this fantastical piece eloquently captures the cost of love and sacrifice.
The Lion / Cheery, Noble, Imaginative / Demanding, Boastful, Melodramatic
We probably don’t need to tell you this, you spotlight-stealer—I say that with love—but August is your month to shine! You’re going to feel on top of the world, so put that imaginative nature to use and don’t hesitate to go after what you want.
This delightful story pick will put you in just the right mood:
- A Date with Destiny, by Alexis Silas: The story is downright fun with a heightened feel-good factor. By the end of it, you’ll have a smile on your face, guaranteed.
The Maiden / Practical, Diligent, Kind / Obsessive, Self-Righteous, Compulsive
Two new cuties will enter your orbit this month. One of them could be trouble—I’ll let you decide which one is which! (Avoid mullets though, come on.) Otherwise, it looks like it’s smooth sailing ahead for you, Virgo. Hah, who am I kidding…
Ahem, here’s your story pick!
- Crocodile Love Machine, by Mackenzie Suess: Gods and deities conversing in a laundromat. Need I say more?
The Scales / Compassionate, Trustworthy, Peacemaker / Disorganized, Materialistic, Indecisive
Remember that smidge of turbulence at the end of July? It’ll blow into full DEFCON 1 by the middle of August. Once you get your survival strategy down, you might want to try to make a little time for hobbies or light exercise. You know, just so you don’t lose your sanity (I’m with you, friend).
Speaking of a little time for hobbies…
- Broken Hart, by Emma Naismith: Creative and poignant, this story will leave you wanting more. Because I’m nice (sort of), here’s a teaser: “The first soft bump appears just above Ebba’s hairline when she is fourteen. It takes six weeks for the right one to swell up.”
The Scorpion / Purposeful, Charismatic, Cunning / Aggressive, Manipulative, Possessive
It looks like some money is headed your way, you baller! Remember to put some of it in the bank for future travel plans. There’ve been ups and downs this year, so take that dream vacation and party like it’s 1999—you’ve earned it.
Here’s some reading for your next plane ride:
- The Diver’s Song (A Strange Paraphernalia), by Kyra Simone: A story that will grab you hook, line, and sinker, this one is sure to pull you under melancholic waters and make you really think.
The Archer / Straightforward, Optimistic, Adventurous / Careless, Impatient, Hotheaded
Good news, Sagittarius! You’re going to be given a rare opportunity at the height of the month. Be true to your nature—a.k.a. seize the day, you adventurer, you—and enjoy this darkly comedic story pick along the way:
- Weather Person, by Steven Grassel: SmokeLong Quarterly describes the story best: “‘Weather Person’ focuses on one character’s defiance against a force predicted as ‘inevitable.’”
The Mountain Sea-Goat / Traditional, Responsible, Ambitious / Unforgiving, Blunt, Pessimistic
It’s official: the butter-side down days have hit (I did warn you!). Expect some fallout in your professional or personal life—or even both. Maybe adopt an “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality?
Distract yourself or embrace the chaos with this monthly read. It’s your choice, of course (I can’t always give you my opinion, jeez).
- Billy the Kid Chooses the Manner of His Own Death, by Kaj Tanaka: An atmospheric and introspective piece, this is one of those stories that gives you something new each time you read it.
The Water-Bearer / Intellectual, Open-Minded, Outgoing / Unpredictable, Self-Conscious, Chaotic
Feed your outgoing, intellectual spirit with some dazzling friend dates. Hit a museum, go to a swanky restaurant opening. Honestly, the sky’s the limit. When you get home, though, we have just the story pick for you.
- Phoenix, Fallen, by Rebecca Birch: This genre and writing style is sure to please your open-minded nature. Because I’m feeling generous, here’s yet another story teaser: “She leads me through a koa-wood door, without a department name I can see, and beckons a young man with spiky, gold-tipped hair and a lilac button-down with subtle flowers worked into the weave.”
The Fish / Charitable, Intuitive, Artistic / Timid, Impractical, Indolent
You might experience some health issues around the end of the month, but they should only linger for a few days (just like respectable houseguests). Cozy up with some coffee or tea and that embarrassing sweater you keep hidden in your sock drawer. You know the one.
Once you’re half relaxed and half caffeinated, crack open this enthralling read.
- Three Angels, by David L. Ulin: Gripping, striking, and lovely, this piece takes a closer look at humanity by shedding a light on three earthly angels.